The Best Stories Told Over the Holidays Began...

SWF: The last time I de-friended someone on Facebook it was because she tried to re-Jesus me...

SPECIAL K: I used to be a mate on a deep-sea fishing boat—did I tell you that? Yeah, I used to fillet flounder and throw chum overboard...

SWF: When I first moved to New York I didn't realize some Duane Reade and Walgreens stores have both an upstairs and a downstairs. I kept wondering why some stores had mascara and toilet paper and others didn't...

SPECIAL K: I was on my way back from that fabulous fur sample sale where I found that zebra bed spread when...

SWF: Remember when I was dating the German celebrity hairstylist and we went on the Italoboyz DJ party boat that circled the Statue of Liberty eight times?

SPECIAL K: The other day I was watering the flowers on my terrace and minding my own business when suddenly an army of yellow jackets nesting in my planter formed an exclamation point and flew straight at my head...

SWF: One day when I was in my early 20s and cleaning my chinchilla cage...